I just happen to be Jewish

 

I just happen to be Jewish, but I usually do not feel Jewish at all.

The last time I felt that I was Jewish happened when I watched an episode of Seinfeld, where Jerry tells Elaine that he believes that his dentist "converted to Judaism just for the jokes". 

I like Jewish humor. 

Larry David (the inspiration for George's character) and Jerry Seinfeld, really make me laugh. 

So does Jon Stewart, Woody Allen, Mel Brooks, and many more.

I even enjoy antiemetic jokes, like where Borat, performs "Throw the Jew down the Well".

Many US celebrities are Jewish. 

About some I only heard of thorough a  Hanukah song by Adam Sandler.

Judaism is great for jokes.

I am fine with Judaism as long as nobody shoves it down my throat, as they do in Israel. 

When I lived in America I enjoyed lighting Shabbat candles with my young kids. 

In Israel, the only racist apartheid state that I know of, I don't even do that. 

I come from a liberal, intellectual background. 

Judaism for me is just a group of traits and customs that do not encompass me. 

My Jewish identity is a random association to a tribe.

We have shared history, but that's the past. I think the USA is a safer place than Israel for the future.

I asked MyHerritage to check my genes and I was disappointed to find out that I am completely Ashkenazi Jew, just like my parents said I am.

My Judaism is superficial. I am not going to let it bind me.

My Judaism is a very small part of a vast web of sources of influence that shaped me.

My way of life is not Jewish. 

Jewish holidays for me means large family dinners. That is all.

If I'm alone, I don't bother standing during the sirens of the two Jewish-Israeli Remembrance days.

The Jewish holidays are not important for me. They don't have any symbolic value in my life. 

I did not raise my children to be Jewish. I never say "Baruch Hashem"

Belief in the Jewish God is pathetic to me, just like belief in any other religious God.

I hold an Israeli passport, but I feel alienated from most Israelis. 

I get angry when I hear the term "Jewish State". 

My identity is complex, unique, convoluted, dynamic, and contradictory. 

My identity cannot be defined in one word. 

In Israel, I think the following is true for most cases:

Judaism is regarded by ignorant Israelis as true, 

by wise Israelis as false, 

and by the Israeli government as useful.

(That was a play on a quote by Seneca)

If the new government will try to strengthen my Jewish identity😠, I'll flee.